Doom Rant – Doom that Walks Before and Doom that Walks Behind

March 28, 2018

This week is the supposed “anniversary” of the relative position around our host star in which my birth occurred some 33-ish Earth/Sun revolutions ago.  The more science one knows, the more difficult it becomes for that first sentence to remain unadorned with footnotes or asterisks.  

 

Uncontrolled bodily twitches caused by a suppression of the desire to explain the discipline of celestial mechanics, physics, or the imperfect science of tracking time may overtake me any moment. In layman’s speech; the ground is moving, around a giant continuous explosion which is also moving.  Which means that, in the history of time, you have never ever been in the same place for even a second. Mind = Blown.  

 

Which leads me to birthdays.  The day humans claw their way out of another human, and our need to keep reminding each other every year of our accomplishment.  If anyone should be celebrating it should be your bio-mom. She did all the work. Buy her the cake.  

 

My Maternal Unit has again come through in flying colors.  But that story will have to wait, for the backstory has yet to be recorded into podcast form.  Rest assured the wait will be worth it. The story includes me teaching the masses about the nature of the universe, two jackets, the Okeechobee Music and Arts Festival, a traveling Swami, suitcases, and a can of SPAM.  Get Hyped.

 

Strangely though, society doesn’t tend to actually celebrate birthdays.  They celebrate the anniversary of birthdays. Colloquially speaking, I will be 33 years old, but it will be my 34th birthday.  The day you are born counts as a birthday.  THE birthday in fact.

 

In the U.S. the 21st anniversary of your birth is the day the government decides its no longer going to ruin your life if you have an alcoholic beverage.  Freshly minted adults who are hoping to take advantage of the fact that most people don’t know the difference between birthdays and anniversaries of birthdays, might try to Jedi Mind Trick the doorman.  “It’s my 21st birthday!” is the same thing as, “I’m 20 years old today!” Doormen, after all, tend not to be hired for their gifts with nuance, subtlety, or a firm grasp of the English language.

 

In the same fashion, we have pulled this stunt on our listeners.  Episode 21 has been released before Episode 20. These aren’t the droids you’re looking for.  In podcast years, we have become one step farther from ne’er-do-well and one step closer to our DOOM….er, um, success.  Whatever that is. We’re a step closer to it.

 

Last week we even met some people who didn’t know who we were, but knew about Mindfulness of Doom!  It was surreal. Almost like we had fans.  That’s a weird thought.  Oh I know you’re out there.  I see the numbers. It’s frightening.  There are twice as many people who have listened to our show than I have facebook friends.  That means that about half of you, I’ve never met, and you’ve heard my voice. …and perhaps you’ve been Jedi Mind Tricked into listening to Episode 21  before Episode 20.

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